Lickin like LL

It was a nice day out . The birds were chirping . The sun was out. It was perfect. So I Decide "hmm maybe i should go to the mall and halla at some ladies" And I get dressed. From head to toe I was looking pretty fresh . New Cut, shirt, hard denim jeans, exclusive sb's .. I was ready! So i get to the mall and u kno i lick my lips to get the ladies attention but nobody was coming. I was walking around the mall and they all were laughing at me? I had no idea so i just continued to lick my lips hoping to attract one ladie. 20 minutes straight I was still lickin my lips becuz thats how i seen my homie do it but the ladies were just laughing.

I finally decide to go to the bathroom and see what was so funny. I look in the mirror and I see that I licked my lips so much it has created a dark circle around my mouth! I immediately ran out the mall covering my lips. Just because it looks nice out doesnt mean its gonna be a good day !

Question: I cant go anywhere w/ out the right chapstick. Have u ever went without chapstick/lipgloss?

This dog cock blockin'

This morning i had to walk to the store to get some milk. I decided to take the route where I would see this beautiful girl hoping she would be out to see me and i could see her. As I was approaching her house I felt my palms get sweaty and the antisipation hit me.
I get to her house and shockingly ...She was out! She waved and said "hey" but as soon as I was going to respond a LOOSE ASS PITBULL from another house Started barking and was running toward me! I sprint as fast I can, So now im on top of a random car looking like a scared as kid. She looked embarrassed for me and she went in.
I was on that car for about 30minutes until the animal control came. Yess i called animal Dont judge me ...it was a big dog.

QUESTION: DO YOU HAVE LOOSE PETS IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD ? DO YOU AVOID ROUTES THAT U KNOW YOU WILL HAVE TO RUN INTO THEM?

MY Mixtape is out now! download!

ITs the funniest thing you will here! http://www.zshare.net/download/64237435587e34fe/

Eww! Thats just nasty.

When I was a kid n elementary school I use to shit a lot. I remember one
morning I had diharia before school.And I didnt feel like wiping. So I
grab some tissue n folded it in placed it between my cheeks so it can
catch the excess shit .
I get to school to find out we have Physical Education. I get in Physical Education the teacher tells us to do some jumping jacks. Tell me why I did 2 jumping jacks n the tissue feel out the bottom of my shorts! Everybody was like "Eww what it that ..a tampon!" It looked like a shitty taco or something.

Question: Whats the craziest thing that happen to you in elementary school.?

She loves me i know it!

She loves me i know it! I logged on myspace and I had a picture comment from you. it said "Your real cute" ! I read this and I felt instantly smitten with you. I even went to jay's jeweler to get our wedding ring . I got home and commented you saying "whats up :) " Knowing that you would respond with a " hey boo! " but sadly u didnt respond.

Three days later I knew you saw my comment cause your status was changed every 5 minutes! How we gonna get married if you never reply! This is killing us softly.
I see my homie has a new picture, So i go to it and show some love. And suddenly my heart stopped, It was a comment from you that said"Your real cute" .....I want a divorce! your cheating on me? Already! ok ok , I hope writing that pic comment was worth what we had! Goodbye ,myspace wife.

QUESTION: WHY DO PPL GET MIXED FEELINGS OVER A PICTURE COMMENT? Do they thing the person commenting them could be a future wife/husband ? let me know!

FULL TIME GIRLFRIEND

I was sitting back one day chillin, thinking What if a girl friend was a job?Think about it! When a girl too busy to see you the dude tell his homies"Yo im thinkin bout quiting Karina, she aint giving me no kind of hours"or when a girl too attached to you? u say to your boys" Yooo this over time she giving me is killin me!"

Question: WHATS THE BEST KEY TO A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP?

She is not a whore!!!!!

I was at this party with the boys. And we were just posted. I saw a girl that went to my church there and I pointed her out.My boys were like" oh shes a HOE" and im like"wait wait wait , dont talk bad bout the girl now, She goes to church she isnt a hoe" they like u must not know bout her." So im tired of these accusations ! I approach her and i say "hey Christy" and she looks at me and says "Hey!! " but when she said hey.. I noticed a curly pubic hair stuck in her teeth..I just said "oh shit u know what i gotta go"

Question: If you had a friend that had HO'ISH Tendencies what would u do?

Judge a book by the text!

She sooo beautiful I remember the day i got your number I texted you "hey beautiful" hoping you would text me back something similar. My phone vibrates...its a text from you. I take a glips at the first words and it was like my eyes were playing tricks with me . The text said"hHeyah bWhOo!" It took me 2 hours to figure out what that said. I never though somebody do beautiful ..didnt know how to spell. I dont know if she was trying to be 'cool or if she wanted me to take a extra 20 each word and sound em out! If so its a nice gesture but please stop. So I text her back "Hows your day going sweetie" and she says "PhURst EyE WInT 2 DhA Sto-" thats as much as i read before I was force to delete her number. She was beautiful tho.

Question: Can Somebody tell my why do people think its dope to "type with swag" or what ever u call it? It takes so much longer to send a text or message when your trying to make your words POP lol Twitter.com/JAMARDAVIS

Dont Open the door!

I wake up to a loud Knock on the door. I see helments and two guys ...it was the missionaries! I already knew they heard me becuz came down the stairs a little loud. So anyway im there behind the door hoping they would go away NOPE they continue to knock on the door. I knew not to speak to them, only becuz i was trained as a kid. So I heard one of them say " We were just Interested in offering you a job" I never opened a door so fast ! I asked him what the job was...Becuz ..times are pretty rough. tell me why he said" Well If you read this pamflet and make sure u show up to these prayer classes then u will know what god has instore" Mannn I knew it was a scam! so I told em.. "sorry im not interested!" They do ANYTHING to get u to open that door !

Question: WHY DO MANY PPL HIDE AND GET SCARED WHEN THE PPL ON THE BIKES KNOCKS ON THEIR DOOR? lol

Dear Unfollower.

Dear 2 People that Unfollowed Me,

When i logged on twitter i noticed my followers were down. I thought we had an agreement! You said "if you follow me , i'll follow you" So now your gone? Just like that? With no signs of who you are im gonna have to go through ALL my friends so i can unfollow you now. (its only right)

With you I was doing 200 people, I was on my way to the big time. Now im doing 198...and its just not the same . You got me thinkin "was it something i said or did, I Couldve sworn the poor jokes were hilarious..i guess not."

So I leave you with this, Next time your leave me please let me know why ? i would love to improve what I can! Your ExFollower, @JAMARDAVIS

Question: Why do people get mad when they lose followers? Is it because of the numbers or what?Let me know! lol