Lickin like LL

It was a nice day out . The birds were chirping . The sun was out. It was perfect. So I Decide "hmm maybe i should go to the mall and halla at some ladies" And I get dressed. From head to toe I was looking pretty fresh . New Cut, shirt, hard denim jeans, exclusive sb's .. I was ready! So i get to the mall and u kno i lick my lips to get the ladies attention but nobody was coming. I was walking around the mall and they all were laughing at me? I had no idea so i just continued to lick my lips hoping to attract one ladie. 20 minutes straight I was still lickin my lips becuz thats how i seen my homie do it but the ladies were just laughing.

I finally decide to go to the bathroom and see what was so funny. I look in the mirror and I see that I licked my lips so much it has created a dark circle around my mouth! I immediately ran out the mall covering my lips. Just because it looks nice out doesnt mean its gonna be a good day !

Question: I cant go anywhere w/ out the right chapstick. Have u ever went without chapstick/lipgloss?

This dog cock blockin'

This morning i had to walk to the store to get some milk. I decided to take the route where I would see this beautiful girl hoping she would be out to see me and i could see her. As I was approaching her house I felt my palms get sweaty and the antisipation hit me.
I get to her house and shockingly ...She was out! She waved and said "hey" but as soon as I was going to respond a LOOSE ASS PITBULL from another house Started barking and was running toward me! I sprint as fast I can, So now im on top of a random car looking like a scared as kid. She looked embarrassed for me and she went in.
I was on that car for about 30minutes until the animal control came. Yess i called animal Dont judge me ...it was a big dog.

QUESTION: DO YOU HAVE LOOSE PETS IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD ? DO YOU AVOID ROUTES THAT U KNOW YOU WILL HAVE TO RUN INTO THEM?

MY Mixtape is out now! download!

ITs the funniest thing you will here! http://www.zshare.net/download/64237435587e34fe/

Eww! Thats just nasty.

When I was a kid n elementary school I use to shit a lot. I remember one
morning I had diharia before school.And I didnt feel like wiping. So I
grab some tissue n folded it in placed it between my cheeks so it can
catch the excess shit .
I get to school to find out we have Physical Education. I get in Physical Education the teacher tells us to do some jumping jacks. Tell me why I did 2 jumping jacks n the tissue feel out the bottom of my shorts! Everybody was like "Eww what it that ..a tampon!" It looked like a shitty taco or something.

Question: Whats the craziest thing that happen to you in elementary school.?

She loves me i know it!

She loves me i know it! I logged on myspace and I had a picture comment from you. it said "Your real cute" ! I read this and I felt instantly smitten with you. I even went to jay's jeweler to get our wedding ring . I got home and commented you saying "whats up :) " Knowing that you would respond with a " hey boo! " but sadly u didnt respond.

Three days later I knew you saw my comment cause your status was changed every 5 minutes! How we gonna get married if you never reply! This is killing us softly.
I see my homie has a new picture, So i go to it and show some love. And suddenly my heart stopped, It was a comment from you that said"Your real cute" .....I want a divorce! your cheating on me? Already! ok ok , I hope writing that pic comment was worth what we had! Goodbye ,myspace wife.

QUESTION: WHY DO PPL GET MIXED FEELINGS OVER A PICTURE COMMENT? Do they thing the person commenting them could be a future wife/husband ? let me know!

FULL TIME GIRLFRIEND

I was sitting back one day chillin, thinking What if a girl friend was a job?Think about it! When a girl too busy to see you the dude tell his homies"Yo im thinkin bout quiting Karina, she aint giving me no kind of hours"or when a girl too attached to you? u say to your boys" Yooo this over time she giving me is killin me!"

Question: WHATS THE BEST KEY TO A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP?

She is not a whore!!!!!

I was at this party with the boys. And we were just posted. I saw a girl that went to my church there and I pointed her out.My boys were like" oh shes a HOE" and im like"wait wait wait , dont talk bad bout the girl now, She goes to church she isnt a hoe" they like u must not know bout her." So im tired of these accusations ! I approach her and i say "hey Christy" and she looks at me and says "Hey!! " but when she said hey.. I noticed a curly pubic hair stuck in her teeth..I just said "oh shit u know what i gotta go"

Question: If you had a friend that had HO'ISH Tendencies what would u do?

Judge a book by the text!

She sooo beautiful I remember the day i got your number I texted you "hey beautiful" hoping you would text me back something similar. My phone vibrates...its a text from you. I take a glips at the first words and it was like my eyes were playing tricks with me . The text said"hHeyah bWhOo!" It took me 2 hours to figure out what that said. I never though somebody do beautiful ..didnt know how to spell. I dont know if she was trying to be 'cool or if she wanted me to take a extra 20 each word and sound em out! If so its a nice gesture but please stop. So I text her back "Hows your day going sweetie" and she says "PhURst EyE WInT 2 DhA Sto-" thats as much as i read before I was force to delete her number. She was beautiful tho.

Question: Can Somebody tell my why do people think its dope to "type with swag" or what ever u call it? It takes so much longer to send a text or message when your trying to make your words POP lol Twitter.com/JAMARDAVIS

Dont Open the door!

I wake up to a loud Knock on the door. I see helments and two guys ...it was the missionaries! I already knew they heard me becuz came down the stairs a little loud. So anyway im there behind the door hoping they would go away NOPE they continue to knock on the door. I knew not to speak to them, only becuz i was trained as a kid. So I heard one of them say " We were just Interested in offering you a job" I never opened a door so fast ! I asked him what the job was...Becuz ..times are pretty rough. tell me why he said" Well If you read this pamflet and make sure u show up to these prayer classes then u will know what god has instore" Mannn I knew it was a scam! so I told em.. "sorry im not interested!" They do ANYTHING to get u to open that door !

Question: WHY DO MANY PPL HIDE AND GET SCARED WHEN THE PPL ON THE BIKES KNOCKS ON THEIR DOOR? lol

Dear Unfollower.

Dear 2 People that Unfollowed Me,

When i logged on twitter i noticed my followers were down. I thought we had an agreement! You said "if you follow me , i'll follow you" So now your gone? Just like that? With no signs of who you are im gonna have to go through ALL my friends so i can unfollow you now. (its only right)

With you I was doing 200 people, I was on my way to the big time. Now im doing 198...and its just not the same . You got me thinkin "was it something i said or did, I Couldve sworn the poor jokes were hilarious..i guess not."

So I leave you with this, Next time your leave me please let me know why ? i would love to improve what I can! Your ExFollower, @JAMARDAVIS

Question: Why do people get mad when they lose followers? Is it because of the numbers or what?Let me know! lol

New Stories!

So I've been thinking that im going to start writing stories on this blog . We'll see how it goes.